Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
