I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
