New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
