I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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