you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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