so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
