what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
