Whats the glycemic index on semen?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
