Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
