Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
