I just found puke in my bra..
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
