Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
