We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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