I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
