Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
