you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
