Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
