Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
