how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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