I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
