The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's blow job season.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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