Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
