I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
