Whod you bang
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
