I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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