Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
