walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
