Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
