So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
