She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
