also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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