It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
