i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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