peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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