i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
