thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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