went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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