Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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