you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
