His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
