Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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