Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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