Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
