the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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