Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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