It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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