Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
