After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
