Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
