my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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