I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's just like the Real World with babies
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
